My friends and I have been having the talk about having "the talk" quite often lately. You know, the DTR, determine the relationship conversation.... the one thing besides facebook that seems to actually validate a relationship that you already knew you had. So what's the point really? And why is it such a tough thing to nail down your relationship status with someone? Are you friends, friends with benefits (that just sounds bad), hanging out, talking, dating, together, boyfriend/girlfriend. Why does it have to be so complicated? Why are there so many different terms and ideas of what two people are to each other. And why does it matter? I'd like to say that it doesn't, that you can just be happy with having a certain person in your life and not have to put a title on it. The problem with that is, if there is no title then there are no rules. People say that they put titles on relationships just so they know where they stand but in all reality, it is because they don't want to get hurt. No one wants to be the person standing outside in the rain alone. So what happens if you don't have that title, and with it, those rules? Then what? What happens if you are the one person who is ready to be in all the way and the other person isn't? Isn't it just easier to have the boundaries, the title, the rules? I would usually say yes. But even that won't stop you from getting hurt. So I guess sometimes, we don't need to define everything. Maybe we can just enjoy it for the moment and when the moment passes, then we move forward. Maybe the best we can do is be around the people who make us laugh, who make us smile, who make us happy... maybe having no rules is just what we need sometimes.
Sunday, March 21, 2010
no rules, just right
My friends and I have been having the talk about having "the talk" quite often lately. You know, the DTR, determine the relationship conversation.... the one thing besides facebook that seems to actually validate a relationship that you already knew you had. So what's the point really? And why is it such a tough thing to nail down your relationship status with someone? Are you friends, friends with benefits (that just sounds bad), hanging out, talking, dating, together, boyfriend/girlfriend. Why does it have to be so complicated? Why are there so many different terms and ideas of what two people are to each other. And why does it matter? I'd like to say that it doesn't, that you can just be happy with having a certain person in your life and not have to put a title on it. The problem with that is, if there is no title then there are no rules. People say that they put titles on relationships just so they know where they stand but in all reality, it is because they don't want to get hurt. No one wants to be the person standing outside in the rain alone. So what happens if you don't have that title, and with it, those rules? Then what? What happens if you are the one person who is ready to be in all the way and the other person isn't? Isn't it just easier to have the boundaries, the title, the rules? I would usually say yes. But even that won't stop you from getting hurt. So I guess sometimes, we don't need to define everything. Maybe we can just enjoy it for the moment and when the moment passes, then we move forward. Maybe the best we can do is be around the people who make us laugh, who make us smile, who make us happy... maybe having no rules is just what we need sometimes.
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