Tuesday, April 27, 2010

thank you.

This is for my friends. You know who you are.

Thank you for the last four years. Thank you for accepting that Bid Card that came to you on August 12, 2006. Thank you for going to the pledge and all house retreats, firesides, Formals, chapters, date parties, etc... Thank you for making every recruitment fun. Thank you for being there for each other through every new boyfriend and every break-up. Thank you for car parties. Thank you for keeping secrets. Thank you for being funny. Thank for you Mexico Joe's. Thank you for for the fights, because they have made each of us better friends. Thank you for the game days. Thank you for the movie nights. Thank you for the wine nights. Thank you for being there for each other through everything that was so tough we couldn't handle it ourselves, every terrible family problem, loss of a family member, broken heart. Thank you for making sure that we all know that we have someone who wants us to get out of bed in the morning when we weren't sure that we could. Thank you for keeping Brown's in business. Thank you for senior night last fall and this spring. Thank you for hating whoever your friends hate. Thank you for accepting who your friends love. Thank you for making a sorority house a home. Thank you for being so damn silly. Thank you for limey races at the Penny, flip cup... anywhere really, karaoke at Willy's, the ledge at Murphy's, and every single night at Dirty's. Thank you for standing up for each other no matter what. Thank you for calling each other out. Thank you for the advice, whether it was taken or not. Thank you for dancing in public. Thank you for Bagel Cafe. Thank you for being huge creepers. Thank you for being supportive. Thank you for not killing each other. Thank you for Miley Cyrus. Thank you for all being so different. Thank you for the one thing that brought us together. Thank you for the group. Thank you for Senior year. Thank you for being there.

They say your friends make your world, and in the last four years, you all have made my entire life. Thank you for the memories, and for all the ones to come. I love you.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

age is just a number

A few days ago I turned 22. And that probably doesn't sound old to any of you. I'm sure it sounds young actually, but I was dreading turning 22. It's just that, your whole life you look forward to turning 15 and getting your driving permit, then 16 and getting your license, turning 18 and going away to college, turning 21 and being able to drink (legally at least), and then what? What actual birthday after 21 is some exciting age that you just can't wait to get to? NADA. So no, I wasn't looking forward to this birthday, especially since my 21st year as a whole hadn't been too great to me. But then I realized that as un-exciting as it may seem, 22 could be a very very good thing. It's a whole new year with no expectations (which in my opinion, almost always lead to let downs). Last year I had all of these preconceived notions about the year... being able to drink, my internship in Dallas, planning my wedding, graduating, moving, getting a big girl job, etc... and not one of those things turned out the way that I expected them to. Obviously, seeing as how I am still living in the same place, job-less and single. From the day I turned 21 to the day I turned 22, my life has done a complete 180. I don't even know what to expect to happen tomorrow, much less a year from now. So, here's to being 22, may I start this year with only one wish... to make the most of it!

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

i miss you.

After someone dies, people always seem to tell you that it will get better with time. That's a lie. It doesn't get better, the pain doesn't go away... you learn to live with it. It's like a piece of you is gone and your body continues to function but you won't ever be whole again. It will be 10 years in November since my dad passed away. But in just 5 days, it is his birthday. He would have been 63. It's weird how much you can take for granted when someone is alive. It's sad actually. You may not tell your friends and your family how much they mean to you on a daily basis, who does? But what if that was the last day you could ever tell them how important they were to you? All of those little things... the fights with your friends, the bickering with your parents, rolling your eyes at your crazy family... are all of those little things really the memories that you want to be left with? I don't think so. When someone who means the entire world to you dies, your life changes, and it will never be the same. I still think about him every single day. Literally. Ten years has not changed how much I miss him or how often I think of him. Time doesn't make it easier... it almost makes it harder. It makes it harder to remember how his laugh sounded or how he smelled. I can remember the little things... watching Monday Night Football and riding in the car singing "bye bye miss american pie." Those things that meant nothing at the time are all that I have left to hold onto, and I hold on for dear life. So if the memories are all that you will be left with, I urge you to make the very most of them. Every chance that you have to spend time with the people that you love, do it. And treasure it.