Monday, March 21, 2011

hmmm... what to say

I can't really decide if I want to post this or not. But I have to type something.

B, my ex-fiance, got engaged.

We've been broken up for a little over a year and he just got engaged to a girl that he has known for 5 months.

Now, I am ridiculously happy in my relationship with BF. Literally, happier than I ever was with B. But still....

It hurts.

It confuses me.

I think most people don't really understand what it is that I'm feeling right now, probably because even I don't understand it.

I know I called it off, I know I made the right decision. That doesn't change how I feel right now. I'm in complete shock. He didn't even tell me. I found out from a friend. I would have told him, just so he didn't have to hear that from someone else. It's not like we just broke up. We had a life planned together and I changed my mind. I get that. But we were a big deal. What happened with us was a big deal. He was a huge part of my life and it's strange enough that we don't even speak but then to find something like this out from someone who isn't even him. There's a part of me that wants to call him, and then there's a part of me who knows that is a very very bad idea. Luckily, my pride is bigger than both of those.

It's just, it's weird. I don't even know what else to say.


  1. I'm sorry that you had to find out from someone else. Thinking of you, sweet girl.

  2. Aw thinking of you doll!
    I know it stings but you've got such a bright future ahead... full of great things and plans that don't involve worrying about him! It should just make you feel even more secure in your decision knowing that he's so quick to plan a life with someone else and not even drop you an courtesy email so that you didn't hear about it elsewhere! I am still so proud of you for making such a weighted decision and standing true to yourself! *hugs*
    Love you sweetie!

  3. Oh no, I'm so sorry to hear this. It takes me back to a similar situation I was in almost a year ago. We had been dating for 6 years, but were not engaged or anything like you two were. There were certain things in the relationship that wasn't changing and I couldn't see dealing with for the rest of my life. So, I broke it off. Of course I am happy with the decision and I am in love with my boyfriend that I have now. We share great moments and have a better, more healthy relationship that my ex and I ever did. But of course, like you I found out he is serious with someone else now.. someone who I know, have to see everyday, dislike (which he knows for certain reasons) and it is just shocking. Like a pit in your stomach. I definitely know where you are coming from. I'm so sorry to hear your story... things can only get better from here though :) xoxo *to us strong women!*

  4. Oh no :( I am sorry girlfriend. Just know you are in a much happier relationship now. With time, you will feel much better, promise xo

  5. giiiiiiiiirl that is weird. it's such a weird feeling when that happens. i believe that no matter how happy and satisfied you are in your current situation, news like that takes a minute to take in, a moment of silence and a few seconds of longing, hurt, confusion, and then finally something to shrug it off. i think it's 100% natural. even if you had expected this and were married your damn self it takes a minute (or two) of speculation. someone who was in your life for a long time and was a big deal definitely deserves a moment of reflection when something like this occurs.