19- My high school sweetheart. He was a senior when I was a sophomore and it was such a big deal that he would even notice me. I was head over heels for that boy. He was hilarious, our relationship was so easy. We never fought, we never argued, we rarely disagreed about anything. We dated all through my sophomore year and then he went off to college. We decided to do the long distance thing, but it was a lot harder than I expected. Especially when 5 came back into my life.
|19 and I before prom - Spring 2004|
5 started his sophomore year of high school when I started my junior year (our high school is sophomore, junior, senior). For months, we hung out every day. We became best friends, and even though we were completely attracted to each other we didn't do anything about it because I had a boyfriend. But this whole time, 19 was off being in college a couple of hours away...we had completely different schedules, rarely got to talk or see each other and we began to fight. We argued all of the time and even when he was in town we wouldn’t get along because we were both struggling with the distance and what it had done to our relationship. Things finally got to a point where 5 told me that he was in love with me and wanted to be with me, so he asked me to make a decision, pick one or the other. And I made the wrong one.
And in all honesty, I was in love with 5. It was like nothing I had ever felt before (granted, I was sixteen/seventeen at this point). I chose 19 though and to this day, no one understands why I did it. We had been together almost 2 years at this point, my family loved him, his family loved me, I was planning on going to the college he went to... it was all planned out, it was the easy choice. I was an idiot. I realized that, a few months later when I couldn't get 5 out of my head, or my heart for that matter. I broke up with 19 and from that point on I tried, every single day, for over a year, to get 5 to give me another chance...but he wouldn't. Almost to the point that I was mildly stalking him.... but I was 17, give me a break here. I went to every one of his baseball games “because my best friend was a manager”... I drove by his house, maybe daily. I wrote him the longest love letter and put it in his mailbox. Slightly (completely, 100%) embarrassing when I look back on it. I went to every thing that I knew he would go to and every single time he totally and completely rejected me.
5 and I - Fall 2004. Looks like an intense convo, wonder what it's about.....
He hated me, or at least it seemed like it. I broke his heart, so he wanted to break mine. From that point on, he would do some terrible thing or say some terrible thing to me and then I would reciprocate. It was a vicious cycle, and by the end of it, I was broken. So when I started college, I moved out of the town 5 was in and I was determined to meet a guy who was nothing like him. Then came B.